I am on a journey…with my work, my explorations and a few old stories. I travel with a suitcase full of loving hugs and blessings. I am on a quest for truth, beauty, and quiet joy. I am an artist, a writer and a creator of new possibility. I’m choosing now, and making a demand of myself. “I don’t want to earn my living; I want to live” – Oscar Wilde.
Often, I think we don’t realise what we’re meant to be doing, because we’re so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas and expectations. Who’s is this? Is it mine? Because actually, we don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a pencil in my hand. As I child, I happened upon a permanent marker. I made magic – all be it, on our stark white , freshly painted walls. Just for me, just for fun, don’t tell anyone. My art is my heart and has always held my happiness. It’s what I do…yet for so long, I’ve chosen not to.
Study. Finish high school. Go to university. Find a job – a real job. You can’t be an artist. You have to go to work. Teach. Curriculum. Criteria. Results. Rules. What if there are no rules? Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent marking papers or supervising detentions. Create joy. Wonder. Share your gifts. Inspire. Be the potent being you truly be, because that’s what this reality needs. Make living itself, an art. Go out and paint the stars. Art allows children to become more themselves, free of the world’s heaviness. Teach that.
It’s difficult. I’ve made a demand of myself to choose different. Every ten seconds. Two steps forward, one step back. Truth, can I do this? Is this special? Will it work? Will people like it? Will people like me? Can I like me, regardless? In a society that profits from self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act. Believing in yourself, in all that you be – being vulnerable - is a terrifying risk. I don’t have to change. I can stay where I am. Safe. Small. Familiar. Or I can create. Invent, experiment, grow, break rules, make mistakes and have fun. I can take that risk and invite change to happen through me, not to me. What if life was all about having fun?
If I choose this, in five years time, where will I be?
I want that.
To wake up every morning with the option of being anyone you wish…how beautiful would it be to always choose yourself?